Official Republican
2004 Presidential Survey

Conducted by the National Republican Congressional Committee
P.O. Box 2837, Washington, D.C. 20013
Motion picture studies of George W. Bush reveal characteristic patterns of facial tonus and musculature associated with homo-erotic behavior.
The continuing tension of buccal sphincters and the recessive tongue role tally with earlier studies of facial rigidity (cf., Adolf Hitler, Nixon). Slow-motion films of campaign speeches exercised a marked erotic effect upon an audience of spastic children. Even with mature adults the verbal material was found to have minimal effect, as demonstrated by substitution of an edited tape giving diametrically opposed opinions. Parallel films of rectal images revealed a sharp upsurge in anti-Semitic and concentration camp fantasies (cf., anal-sadistic fantasies in deprived children induced by rectal stimulation).

Incidence of orgasms in fantasies of sexual intercourse with George W. Bush.
Patients were provided with assembly kit photographs of sexual partners during intercourse. In each case Bush?s face was superimposed upon the original partner. Vaginal intercourse with ?Bush? proved uniformally disappointing, producing orgasm in 2 percent of subjects. Axillary, buccal, navel, aural and orbital modes produced proximal erections. The preferred mode of entry overwhelmingly proved to be the rectal. After a preliminary course in anatomy it was found that caecum and transverse colon also provided excellent sites for excitation. In an extreme 12 percent of cases, the simulated anus of post-colostomy surgery generated spontaneous orgasm in 98 percent of penetrations. Multiple-track films were constructed of ?Bush? in intercourse during (a) campaign speeches, (b) collisions with one and three-year-old model changes, (c) with rear exhaust assemblies, (d) with Iraqi child-atrocity victims.

Sexual fantasies in connection with George W. Bush.
The genitalia of the President exercised a continuing fascination. A series of imaginary genitalia were constructed using (a) mouth-parts of Condoleeza Rice, (b) a Humvee rear exhaust vent, (c) the assembly kit prepuce of Bill Clinton, (d) a child-victim of sexual assault. In 89 percent of cases, the constructed genitalia generated a high incidence of self-induced orgasm. Tests indicate the masturbatory nature of the President?s posture. Dolls consisting of plastic models of Bush?s alternate genitalia were found to have a disturbing effect on deprived children.

Bush?s hair style.
Studies were conducted on the marked fascination exercised by the President?s hair. 65 percent of male subjects made positive connections between his hair-style and their own pubic hair. A series of optimum hair-styles were constructed.

The conceptual role of Bush.
Fragments of Bush?s cinetized postures were used in the construction of model psychodramas in which the Bush-figure played the role of husband, doctor, insurance salesman, marriage counselor, etc. The failure of these roles to express any meaning reveals the non-functional character of Bush. Bush?s success therefore indicates society?s periodic need to re-conceptualize its political leaders. Bush thus appears as a series of posture concepts, basic equations which re-formulate the roles of aggression and anality.
Adapted from Why I Want to _____Ronald Reagan, written by J.G. Ballard in 1967.